


Querencia

by siriuslytonks



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-21
Updated: 2021-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-25 06:00:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30084540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siriuslytonks/pseuds/siriuslytonks
Summary: Querencia: (n.) a place from which one's strength is drawn, where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self.xxxHarry Potter is dead and Voldemort has complete control over every person living within Britain, muggle or not. A lucky chance is Hermione's only chance at survival whether she likes it or not, and with the help of two of her childhood bullies she may be able to bring the world to justice herself.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, Theodore Nott & Original Male Character(s)
Kudos: 4





	Querencia

**Author's Note:**

> Got the idea for this story after reading Cruel and Beautiful world by Lena Phoria so major creds to them 💜

_**Prologue - May 2nd 1998** _

A cold body lay across the old stone, his black hair scraped across his green eyes. 

"Dead." A voice called out to the on lookers, her usually fiery red hair more like an autumn brown, now in her mourning. 

A cackle of laughter screamed out at the crying girl, mocking her sudden loss. Hundreds of people with teary eyes watched as Harry Potter's limp body was turned to nothing but flakey ash with a flick of a wand. 

"No- No!" Hermione screamed. Another head of red tried to take her hand but she pulled away in disgust. Narrow slits that were once bright and pools of honey and ember flashed her a dirty look.

"You- Mudblood!" He shouted, pointing his wand in front of him, commanding her to come forward.

Ron's trembling hand didn't even reach her arm this time before she stepped forward. The adrenaline of the situation running through her veins. Hundreds of pairs of eyes watched her cautiously, itching to stop her. 

"Hermione! No!" Another voice shouted out, this time by none other than Nymphadora Lupin (once Tonks). Hermione swiveled around and gave her a deadly look, silently telling her to back away. Once Nymphadora understood and backed away, Hermione walked back towards the man who had moments ago been at the hand of her bestfriend's death. 

Voldemort smirked at the courage of the mere gryffindor, his followers behind him laughing at the stupidity of the girl.

"Draco," the dark lord called out. Hermione's eyes widened and she turned to find Draco stood amongst the other Hogwarts students, his nostrils twitching as he sucked im deep breath's.

"Draco- come." A softer voice called out to him.

His eyes skimmed over the people around him, the only person who seemed to make eye contact being Luna Lovegood. The ocean waves of her eyes holding pity and sorrow.

Slow footsteps made their way towards Voldemort and a smug smile altered his face. 

"Draco, i want you to kill the mudblood." Hermione gasped. 

An angry shout came from behind them, she knew it was Ron. 

"No, you took my boyfriend and you will not take my bestfriend!" Ginny screamed at him, taking bold strides towards her. 

With a wave of his wand, Voldemort sent her flying back, a shield placed around the three of them.

"Take her, or kill her." He hissed to Malfoy.

"T-take her?" He gulped, his hand trembling.

"Yes, or kill her, must i assume it shall be the latter," His eyes narrowed and Hermione gulped.

"The latter, my lord." Malfoy's voice croaked and he turned to face Hermione. She quickly pulled out her wand, pointing it at him, "you!" She shouted. His hand shook and he tried not to meet her eyes, "do it then you coward!" He scowled and narrowed his eyes down at her.

"Expelliarmus!" Hermione's wand went flying into his hand and his eye's softened. He watched the girl as her anxiety leapt through the roof.

His wrist flicked and a green light shot straight into her chest. Her breath caught as she felt herself fall to the floor. 

Everyone gasped at the sight their beloved golden girl's dead body. 

Draco sighed in relief, he'd never used that spell before and thanks to Theodore he had saved both his own and Granger's life. 

The death eater's cheered as he transfigured her body into a galleon and pocketed it. As he turned, he saw the angry and disappointed expressions of his classmates and friends. The only exception being Theodore, Pansy and Blaise who were more than aware of his little trick.

xxx

**_Five years later - April 4th 2003_ **

The clatter of muggle's and the chatter of wizards and witches kept her awake. Her tear-stained, puffy cheeks scraped across the pavement as she cried. The large, navy cloak was the only thing stopping her shivering and it hadn't left her shoulder's since the day she first found herself down here with nothing but her wand and the clothes on her back. She tried not to cry at the thought of that fateful day when everything went to shit. 

Her heart felt heavy and her head hurt, she missed her friends, her family. She didn't even know who was alive and who wasn't anymore and that may have even been scarier than death itself. 

Her stomach growled as she shut her eyes. Hermione hadn't eaten in days, possibly longer. But, when you are supposed to be dead, getting around without people seeing you is hard. Ever since the death eaters took control over Britain, people had evacuated to the the underground. No one had gotten in or out of the country for years, apparently. With the exception of Voldemort and his most trusted followers, of course.

Most of the people down here were muggles, meaning death eaters rarely came down unless a crime had been committed.

Hermione did what she could for food and necessities. Including giving up her respect for herself. 

Jobs weren't easy to come by, especially not by being Hermione Granger. Prostitution seemed to be the only solution. Either that or die. But it had come around to a certain time on the month, meaning her usual customer's were far from interested.

She felt disgusting. She had always meant for her first time to be meaningful. Her first time had instead been extremely painful and after she had threw up for about an hour just trying to think about something else, anything else.

She listened to the large crowds, her hunger and cramps intensifying by the minute. 

Hermione stood, quickly, hearing a loud bang behind her. 

A large cloud of smoke filled the crevices and alleyways of the underground, blurring her vision.

She snapped her head in every direction trying to make out who or what had caused the sudden disruption.

Hermione's eyes watered as the screams of scared children filled her ears. Cloaked figures made their way through the ashy cloud of smoke, silver masks hiding their identities.

Gripping her wand as tight as she could, Hermione ran in the opposite direction of the death eaters. She hadn't a clue how kind it had been since the war, she didn't even know how long it had been since when she woke up wrapped in an unfamiliar cloak after Draco Malfoy 'killed' her. But despite how long it had been, she hadn't seen the death eaters ever since, she'd one or two men she'd suspected as spies but never one in their uniform.

Her anxiety and lack of food seemed to be a disadvantage at this point in time. Her head seemed to spin but she continued to run as fast as she could, ignoring the terrified people around her. 

Her heart beat loudly, trying to prevent her falling into another panic attack. She had seemed to get them more often than not now. Almost every night, at least once or twice, she'd feel her lungs contract and her head pound and her throat thirsty for air. They never seemed to end. Now it was just wake up, panic attack, sell yourself to whoever was interested, find someone to trade with and panic attack again. Repeat. The cycle seemed to never stop and no matter how much time passed or what happened she'd find herself in the same state of panic. Over and over again. She wasn't even aware of who was alive or not anymore. Last she heard, Harry, Fred and Remus were dead. She hadn't even mourned them properly yet. A small part of her had hoped that one day she'd get out of here and go back to find all three of them alive. Others were rumoured to be dead too, of course, but none had been entirely confirmed.

Shaking her head to rid her thoughts, she looked around again, death eaters were questioning families, tying them up and asking to see wands as a form of identification.

Even though her bushy hair covered her eyes and the smoke had already blurred her vision quite a bit, she continued to run. 

Hermione's breathing became quick and her heart rate became faster. Just before her knees began to buckle, a hard surface stopped her, forcing her onto the floor, falling directly on her bum. 

As her eyes trailed up the length of the solid object she'd fell into, her mouth fell open, her fingertips trailing across the concrete to take ahold of her wand again.

Two dark eyes peered down at her through slits in the silver mask. 

A hand swooped down and pulled her arm, their wand pointed at her.

Hermione let out hiss and attempted to pull herself off the masked figure, trying to correctly grasp her wand. His long, slender, fingers burned into her skin, through the thin fabric of his gloves. 

She attempted to pull herself away once more but stopped when the death eaters face came down to the side of her head, barely touching her ear. 

"Stop struggling, i'll help you but you need to comply," a raspy voice ground out. Hermione's eyes widened and she hesitantly nodded.

She hadn't exactly recognised the voice but it struck a cord in the back of her mind, it had some sort of familiarity with it. Her mind raced with many thoughts, the main one being, _who is this guy?_

His eyes scanned around the hall quickly before pulling her closer into him and with a pop apparated her away.

Hermione gasped at the sudden transportation and soon felt herself fall through the pull of space and time and disappear from the safety of the space between the brick walls in which she'd relied on for the past five years to keep her safe. 

The concrete floor soon contrasted to a plush grey carpet as she felt herself fall onto her hands and knee's. By this point her hood had came complete off the head, exposing her mildly greasy bush of brown curls which had almost doubled in length since the war. 

Hermione slowly allowed her eyes to trail upwards to view her 'saviour'. The man had taken away his mask now, staring at her with his emerald eyes, his wavy brown hair slightly brushing the tops of them. 

Hermione quickly backed away, pulling her wand and pointing it at him.

"Granger! you scared me!" He shrieked.

Her brows furrowed and her eyes squirted, "Yo-you're Theodore Nott." She stammered, watching his actions very carefully as he placed his wand and mask on a coffee table behind him.

"Correct...i'm not going to hurt you." His eye's softened as he watched the fear drip from her features. 

"Why should i trust you?" She accused.

He snickered, "Because without me, my dear friend Draco wouldn't have know the spell that faked your death five years ago, without me you wouldn't have that cloak nor have safety in the underground, without me you'd be dead." He sneered. 

Hermione's lips parted in shock and she blinked multiple times at him. 

His sneer turned into a sympathetic smile and a hand reached out, offering her help to get up.

Hermione hesitated but accepted it. Once she was standing, she noticed how tall he actually was. Herself being only 5"3.5 and extremely thin, his body towered over her, roughly around 6"2, possibly 6"3. His pointed eyebrows furrowed together when he noticed her amber eyes taking him in. She had noticed that he had aged with war. Theodore Nott may have been a pureblood slytherin but she had noticed him multiple times in the library during school. She had found him rather attractive actually. His face was sharp but his cheeks round and full, his green eyes, much like Harry's, stood out against his very pale skin. But now the full, round cheeks are hollow and his distinctive emerald eyes seemed less green and more hazel. His skin, although still pale, seemed rougher and had a few scratches and scars. 

Theo took her in as she did him, noticing her practically empty face. Her high cheekbones seemed to stick out more than they had before. Her once full, rosey lips were now dry and almost purple. She looked dehydrated and malnourished and Theo couldn't help allow his guilt eat up at him. This girl - although a muggle-born - had suffered through god knows what while he had been parading about playing goody-two-shoes death eater. 

"When was the last time you eaten?" 

Hermione gasped at him for a short moment before thinking it through. _Monday- no- Saturday? No- Friday._

"Possibly Friday but i don't keep tabs." 

Theodore's eyes widened, "that was six days ago!" 

Hermione blushed and turned her head away from him, "i haven't been able to make money for a week- no money, no food." She answered feeling an itch at her chest rise up her neck.

Theodore's eyes softened and he turned, moving towards an open arch way that led to a green kitchen. Hermione didn't dare follow him but she stayed there, her eyes trailing around the living room. Everything seemed to be black, grey or green. There were no personal objects, just lamps and books. No photos or nick-backs. Just a grey carpet, green rug, black coffee table and one large corner sofa, decorated with grey and green pillows, and a large, black fireplace. A small, crystal chandelier hung over the sofa, adding the tiniest bit of decoration, minus the small, built-in shelf with a selection on books on it. The room seemed fairly...impersonal. It seemed more like a hotel than a home.

Behind the sofa was a small, six-seater black and grey dining table. Which, once again, seemed impersonal, like it hadn't been used, ever. 

Theodore's clattering from the kitchen disrupted Hermione from her observations. He moved back out the door with a large bowl of frothy broth, two buns of white bread and a bottle of water. He quickly carried it to the table, setting it down and pulling a chair out. 

Hermione's tummy rumbled at the sight of it, the aroma of the stew was enough to make her feel faint again. She had been so hungry. 

Theo pulled his cloak off, revealing a ruffled, ivory shirt and tight, black suit trousers. When Hermione made no effort to move, he signaled for her to sit and after a moment of debate in her head she took the seat. Theo felt rather happy with himself and took the seat opposite her and she just stared at him.

"I haven't poisoned you, you know?" He joked, earning a small smirk from the girl in front of him. 

Hermione placed her wand infront of her and picked up the spoon that was to the right of her bowl and began to chew of the beef. 

Her mouth watered and a small moan slipped past her throat. She ate slowly, to be sure she wasn't going to upset her stomach, but couldn't ignore the stare Theodore was giving her. 

"Why'd you bring me here?" She inquired, placing the spoon back into the empty bowl.

"The death eaters planned to kill anyone who was muggle or muggle-born down there, if you'd be caught, Draco would be killed for not murdering you as he was commanded to do," His eyes averted from hers, "Draco's my only family, i cant loose him, and you haven't seen how bad it is out there, you being here is better than out there. It's the least i could do anyway."

Hermione took a sip of her water and tried to read his body language. He fiddled with his fingers in his lap, ignoring her presence completely. He'd told her a little too much than what he had liked to but it had shut her up and that was what mattered. 

A chime dinged throughout the flat making Theo jump up in surprise. 

"Shit!" He squealed. 

He picked up his cloak, throwing it over Hermione's head, in attempt to hide her, and stood infront of her shielding her from the floo.

A grunt and groan could be heard from the other side of the room as Hermione tried to pull of the cloak that Theodore had threw at her. 

Theo cleared his throat, looking back at Hermione, "Drakey!" He called out.

"What the fuck, Theo. What have you done now?" A voice grumbled out. 

Hermione instantly recognised the voice and knew it was Malfoy and that made her all the more scared. Would she thank him? Would he hate her? Would he be as nice as Theo was?

As if on cue, Theodore shuffled out of the way of the girl, allowing Draco a proper view of the person.

"Who's that?" He asked, his voice wavering a bit.

Hermione coughed and quickly pulled the cloak over her head to veiw him. 

His platinum blonde hair seemed darker, that was the first thing she noticed. Then the wrinkle creases in his forehead and around his eyes. The blue of his eyes seemed more like a grey now, which was very unusual in Hermione's opinion. His porcelain skin was flawless, his features were strong and masculine, yet soft and enticing, and his softer features were inviting and irresistible. Unlike Theo, his face seemed fuller, the sharpness and arrogance in his features seemed to have changed into a softer and kinder structure. His mouth which was agape gave her a nice veiw of his pale pink lips, the only spot of colour on his face. Overall, he just seemed more worn out, along with his new height, possibly 4-5 inches taller than last time. He was taller than Theo, maybe 6" or 6"1. Not as tall as Theo but still much taller than Hermione. It was intimidating. Here she was in a room with two death eaters, both much taller and wider than she was. So not only would they be able to kill her with magic but she'd also be at a major disadvantage physically.

Malfoy had dropped his bags, spilling an arrangement of foods, hygiene products and other little bits all over the floor. 

Theodore's cheeks had gone extremely red by this point, he hadn't exactly planned on telling Draco this way. 

Hermione's wand had found its way to her hand and it was pointed at Draco's face. 

"What the fuck is she doing here?" His question hadn't meant to come off as angry but it hadn't helped that his fists were clenched and his brows were furrowed in confusion.

"The death eaters raided the underground, Granger bumbed into me and i couldn't leave her to die or for you to be found out, shes malnourished too! She hadn't ate in six days so i got her some food, if she dies from malnourishment and someone finds her body, you're fucked Malfoy!" His chest was heaving profusely by the time he'd finished him mini rant. Draco stared at him for a moment before picking up the things he'd dropped. Hermione continued to point her wand at him, her anxiety creeping up on her again. 

"Are you going to kill me?" She blurred out. 

The two men looked at her, one with a confused expression and the other frustrated and angry before shaking their heads, moments away from being in sync.

"If i wanted you dead i would have killed you five years ago." Malfoy scoffed.

Theodore flicked his wand to collect Malfoy's bags and Hermione's finished dish and proceeded to levitate them with his wand and taking them to the kitchen. 

Malfoy eyed her suspiciously, watching her every movement.

"You look like shit." He commented, his nose scrunching in disgust.

"You try living off your arse for- how long has it been?" 

Draco simply blinked at her, confused more than anything. "Five years next month, Granger."

Hermione's eyes widened and her hand began to tremble which did not go unnoticed by Draco. 

"What happened to you?" His eyes squinted, taking her in ever so carefully.

What did happen to her? Everything seemed more or less a blur and she'd thought over that question more than a few times. She'd never imagined Malfoy being the one asking her though. In her imagination it had always been Ronald or Ginny. She hadn't imagine she'd ever see Malfoy- or Nott for that matter- ever again. 

"You don't want to know." She answered simply, her wand still pointed at him.

"You cant use that here, there's wards around all of London, minus the underground's, any use of magic with a wand is recorded, along with the name of the person who used the wand and whereabouts of the magic performed. So unless you plan to be killed by Voldemort himself, i wouldn't use that if i were you." Draco placed his own wand on the dining table which just moments ago she was sat at herself. He watched the way she flinched at his subtle movements before turning and moving towards a white door near the balcony. 

The moment she was alone she started to panic. They were going to murder her. Right here. In this flat. She knew it. Her family- friends- she had no idea who was dead and who was alive. Ginny? Ron? George? Tonks? Luna? Neville? The list goes on. 

Her fingers made their way up to her neck and chest, pulling the fabric as far away from her skin as possible, the heat creeped up to her face and suddenly she felt faint. Breathing was becoming rather difficult as she started to shake and tears ran down her face. 

The sounds of footsteps took her out of her trance, she hadn't even noticed that she'd slid down the wall, clutching her knees to her chest. She rocked herself ever so slightly, she was fucked. 

A voice was calling her name, she knew it, but she hadn't any strength to respond or even acknowledge the person calling her name. 

She had many panic attacks before but none compared to the overwhelming and crushing fear of not knowing who of her loved ones were dead or alive. On top of that she was kidnapped by a death eater and is currently in said death eaters apartment with another death eater who just happened to have faked her death five years ago. 

A tingling sensation swept through her shoulder sending waves of seretonin through her muscles. Her reflexes quickly pulled herself away from the brush of cold fingertips and adverted her eyes upwards to meet the steel grey ones that often haunted her dreams- nightmares. 

At her sudden movement he flinched backwards and his sullen face suddenly composed. The crease between his eyebrows relaxed and the frown on his face straightened. 

Hermione, unlike him, struggled to hide her emotions and let out a chocked sob, a waterfall of tears threatening to release. Another presence entered the room, his eyes softening as he saw the girls distress. 

This time Hermione did not flinch when a hand rested on her shoulder, a thumb rubbing her affectionately. She wiped underneath her eyes with the sleeve of her cloak and looked at the two sets of eyes, one pair soft and green, like a meadow on a hot day in June, the other hard and cold like the ice that softly covers the paths in london in the winter months. Somehow the latter seemed more comforting than the former. 

She sniffed and took a glance at the out-stretched hand offered to her by Draco and hesitated for a split second before accepting it gratefully. His hand felt cold. She noted. Not a chill or a nip of cold. Pure ice. As though the faintest touch would burn. 

Another set of hands held held out a pile of fabrics. A fluffy white towel, some grey joggers and white t-shirt. Hermione blinked rapidly and took them into her hands as Theo practically shoved them at her. 

Draco moved over towards a door to the left of the fireplace and opened it ever so slightly and waiting for her and Theo to step in. 

Theodore practically pounced into the room, jumping on the plain white sheets of the queen sized bed. Malfoy chuckled at his bestfriend's childish behaviour and turned back to look at Hermione who was inspecting the pile of fabrics in her arms. 

"This is our spare room, you can use the shower and sleep- if you want to of course." Hermione's cheeks heated and she nodded quickly.

"Please, thank you." She nodded and followed him into the room, noticing the white, four-poster bed with plain white sheets in the centre of the wall, a dark, oak dresser on one side, a matching side table on the other. Opposite the bed was a sliding mirror and another door. She felt herself sink into the four walls, two grey and two white. This had been the first bedroom she had been in since the battle of Hogwarts and despite her cautiousness about the two men, she seriously needed a shower and a full night of sleep. 

Placing the clothes on the dresser, her eyes caught the two black-out curtains on the far side of the bed. She floated over to it curtain, pulling it back ever so slightly. To her surprise, a balcony stood behind the glass door, the inky black sky behind it. 

Theo watched as her gaze drifted around the room and returned his gaze back to Draco's. His soft eyes watched the girl with curiosity, he hadn't seen her for almost five years but yet her reaction to him had almost been... _calm?_

"Granger- Hermione." She turned her head back to Theodore's. 

"The bathrooms is there-" he pointed to a door next to the balcony, "It's a double en-suite so it connects to Draco's room too, so i'm sure he won't mind if you use his products, spare toothbrush under the sink, the clothes i passed to you are just until we can find some women's clothes so my sincerest apologies for the time being." He sent her a smile and headed towards the living room again. Draco gave her a quick nod and followed after him.

Hermione did not utter a word, despite the itching in her brain telling her to give them a simple 'thank you'. 

Once the door clicked shut she quickly rushed to the bed, ramming her face into the silk sheets. She almost moaned at the comfort. Five years without a proper bed, five years without a warm meal or clean clothes. Then here she was in the spare bedroom of Draco Malfoy and Theodore Nott's flat after having a warm meal. 

Realising she was probably dirtying the clean sheets, she stood up pulling her cloak off. Then her denim jacket and her boots. She unzipped her jacket and pulled it down the lengths of her arms leaving just her t-shirt on underneath. Hesitantly, she undid the button of her denims and pulled them down over her hips. From the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She looked gaunt. Bags under her eyes stood out amongst the rest of her olive skin. Her lips seemed rather purple and dry. Her arms and legs were much thinner now, the thighs she often loved gone and replaced with the body of a girl she is yet to know. 

With not much courage, she grabbed the hem of her white shirt and pulled it as fast as she could over her head. 

Now just in her plain black briefs, she examined her body more thoroughly. Her rib cage stuck profusely. Her breasts, although smaller, still big compare to the drastic difference in size of her other body parts. 

If it weren't for the familiar amber eyes and bush of brown curls on her head, Hermione doubted she would have even recognised the girl in the mirror. 

Shrugging it off and grabbing the pile of towels and clothes, she headed towards the door that Theodore had told her was the bathroom. The door lead to a beautiful white marble bathroom with grey tile floors. To the left of the door a large glass shower sat, a shelf filled with products in it, a toilet behind the glass wall. On the other side, to the right sat a double wash basin, one side with things like a toothbrush, toothpaste and hair gel however the other side was completely empty, not a single sign of use. 

The door opposite her own sent shivers down Hermione's spine. Draco Malfoy lived on the opposite side of that door. That room was where he slept, dressed, bedded women. Her nose crinkled in disgust. Chances are he'd probably released himself in this very bathroom, where she was about the shower.

Shrugging those thoughts from her mind, she peeled down her underwear and chucked them in the bin underneath the sick, feeling revolted at the stains that had dirtied them over the years. There was only so much a quick 'scougify' and wash with cold water could do. 

Hermione stepped into the shower, her nose filling with sweet scent of mint and lavender. 

The shower had many different settings, different heats, taps, shower heads and pressure's. After a moment of messing around with the handle, Hermione finally managed to feel the relief that came with the hot water that came dripping down her back. As each droplet fell onto her skin, she felt her anxiety wash away more so than the dirt and blood that stained her skin. 

She hadn't had a proper shower in almost five years. She had been granted permission to use people's tin baths a couple dozen times and she had managed to buy bottled water in which she lathered over hand towels to wash the insides of her crevices and face in but overall she hadn't felt properly clean since before the battle. It almost felt wrong. Harry had died, Voldemort had taken over. If she was even seen by the outside world she would be killed along with the man who bullied her relentlessly throughout school. Despite her hatred to him, she did feel indebted to him, he had a choice to rape or kill her and he choose to defy Voldemort and spare her. 

She shut her eyes, letting the water fall down her eyelids. This may have been the most content she had been since Bill and Fleur's wedding on the 1st of August 1997. Where she had danced with Ron and spent the night laughing and dancing with her friends and family. Where she and Ginny had gossiped about Harry and how Viktor had came looking just as handsome as he looked in her fourth year. Hermione missed Ginny terribly. She hadn't even had the opportunity to help her friend manage her grief. 

Realising the water began to taste salty, she shook her head and grabbed the mint body wash and lathered a large amount in her hands, rubbing it everywhere from her toes to her neck. When she reached the area between her legs she unhooked the shower head and plopped herself down on the wet floor, reaching down with the shower head to clean the area more thoroughly. As the water washed between her folds, it hit a certain point which made her head fall back and her lips part in pure ecstasy. 

Hermione didn't know if she'd ever get this sort of privacy again, for all she knew Malfoy and Nott could be planning her death at this very moment. So she did not stop. She increased the pressure and let her fingers slip down to her opening. She'd never enjoyed the things she had let men do to her, but when she did it herself she felt herself absorb into the feeling of pure bliss. 

Hermione lifted herself onto her knees, one hand pumping into her and the other controlling the direction of the water. She managed to stifle her moans enough to be adamant that no one had heard.

After a few minutes she felt herself her release and sat back watching as her fluids diluted with the water and washed down the drain. She felt disgusted. 

Hermione just sat there, allowing the water to fall down her shoulders again. She couldn't exactly describe how she felt. She just felt empty. She felt alone and scared. She felt as though the world she loved was crumbling around her and she had spent years trying to act like everything was fine. She spent years acting like one day she'd be reunited with her friends and everything would be okay again. But they wouldn't. Nothing would ever be the same, nothing would ever repair the years of trauma and anxiety. 

Hermione's hands began to shake and her knees came up to her chest. She sat like that, in a fetal position for what felt like seconds but for all Hermione knew it could have been hours. 

Her wet hair created a curtain around her face and chest, allows her to feel safety in this new, unknown environment. 

A knock from Draco's door startled her, however she did not move, she couldn't even avert her eyes from the tiled floor. 

"Granger?"

When the door cracked open she didn't even try to cover herself. She didn't even care about that anymore. She didn't even know who she was anymore so her privacy was the least of her worries. 

"Are you okay? I promise i'm not looking, i just can't hear past the door and water." Malfoy's voice echoed out to her. 

Hermione's throat felt full and her thoughts were blurry but when she let out a sob she knew she had messed up. She had already cried in front of this man, why on earth had she started crying again. Perhaps it was the emotional build up or it may have been the isolation she had felt in the underground. She had seen and spoken to people of course but it was still isolated. One old woman in particular knew what she had done for money, so whenever she could afford it she had given her spare bread rolls and bottles of water, sometimes an apple or orange but whatever it was Hermione felt her love for the woman grow. Hermione soon learnt the woman's name to be Hope. Hope Howell. Although Hermione never told her she knew she had lied about her name. 

Hermione knew Remus and Tonks Lupin very well. Well enough to had known Remus' mother had been called Hope and her maiden name Howell. Other than the name comparison Hermione had noticed the remarkable resemblance between the mother and son. She had no idea what had happened to Hope once the death eaters arrived and knowing that now she had failed the man whom she had looked up to so dearly, she had felt even worse about herself. 

So caught up in her thoughts, she had completely blocked out Malfoy's presence. 

"Granger, what's wrong?" 

Eventhough this time she heard him, she decided against speaking, scared of hearing her own voice. 

"That's it, i'm coming in. Don't complain if you aren't decent because if you've offed yourself i'm not going to be too pleased." He huffed, half joking, half worried. The sound of his footsteps on the tiles informed Hermione of his entrance. 

Draco nelt down, popping his head around the fogged up glass wall, his bare feet feeling the splash of shower drops. He couldn't see much of her, just her back and neck, but it still felt intrusive. 

"Are you okay, Granger?" He lowered the volume of his voice a little, just enough so it wouldn't make her jump up and scream at the proximity. 

Hermione's head lifted and she shook it ever so slightly but Draco saw it just fine. 

"Have you washed your hair yet?" She shook her head again, "Theo has some for curly hair that may be more useful for you, i'll get it if you want," Hermione nodded her head this time. 

Draco stood up quickly and turned and walked out of the bathroom and through the flat to the main bathroom. He quickly grabbed Theo's shampoo and conditioner and set back to his and now Hermione's shared bathroom. 

On his way, he grabbed one of his t-shirts thag he didn't mind getting wet and a comb wide enough not to make Hermione's curls go frizzy. 

When he returned to the bathroom, she was still in the same position, still dolent and orphic. 

"Arms up, i've got a shirt for you to cover yourself with." He ordered, noticing that this time he could see much more of her. More specifically, the way her breasts pushed up as her legs pressed against them. 

Hermione was thankful for his fast thinking and obligated, lifting her arms up ever so slightly. Lucky enough for her, body hair hadn't been a worry for her as she knew more than a few spells to permanently remove it and right now she hadn't ever been so thankful for it. 

Draco slipped it over her head and over her knees, pulling her hair out from inside the shirt. He sat down behind her, not worrying about the water that was hitting him and grabbed the comb, starting to brush out the knots. There were a lot of knots. Hermione just sat there mirkily, still not saying anything, which worried him a little. Surely she would have at least protested to him seeing her naked body, but she hadn't, so he continued. 

First he conditioned the hair to help remove the matted area's and loose hairs. Then, adding a large quantity, he shampooed her scalp, making sure he got every part. He didn't know why he was being so attentive, it could have been the guilt or it could have been the orphic behaviour of the girl. But either way he felt that it was the least he could do. 

"Who's dead?" Hermione blurted out. 

Her sudden willingness to speak shocked Draco but he didn't let it show, still massaging the shampoo into her scalp. 

"Remus and Nymphadora Lupin; Fred, Percy and Bill Weasley; Lavender Brown, Pavarti Patil,-" he paused, "Severus Snape, I heard rumors about Dean Thomas but i'm not sure, that hufflepuff named Justin from our year. I'm not sure who else would be significant to you but i know for a fact that Ginevra, Weasel, Looney and Longbottom are alive, along with Arthur, Molly, George and Charlie weasley. Andromeda Tonks and Edward Lupin are alive. Kingsley Shacklebolt is dead. Voldemort is now the minister of magic. Bellatrix is the headmistress of hogwarts. I haven't heard anything on Minerva Mcgonagall or any other teachers. Ask anything and i've probably got the answer." 

Hermione felt the tears roll down her cheeks again. _Tonks, Percy, Bill, Lavender, Pavarti, Kingsley._

They had died while Hermione was in the safety of the underground. And now here she was having not been able to at least help. Her friends- family, dead. 

Draco stood up, pulling the shower head of the hook and washing the shampoo out of Hermione's hair, making sure not to miss any spots. When he looked back down he noticed a small tail of red mixing with the water. 

"You're hurt." It wasn't a question, more of a statement. "Do you need a healing spell performed?" 

Hermione's head snapped up and met his gaze for the first time since he entered the bathroom, a small blush forming over the bridge of her nose and cheeks. 

"Uh- no, not a cut, it's more internal." She noticed his worried expression turn confused then his mouth form a little 'o' shape. 

She turned her head away from his in embarrassment and immediately wished that he wasn't in the room at all. "I'm sorry- i didn't think-" 

He cut her off, "No- don't worry about it, i may be a man but i know you can't exactly control it." The tips of his lips quirked up slightly in amusement and Hermione took this moment to examine him properly. Curtesy of the water that had now thoroughly soaked him, she could not make out the outline of his abdomen and v-line through the muggle shirt. 

Hermione felt her neck heat at the moment of realisation as she imagined what exactly that v-line led to. He may be a death eater and her childhood bully but she still knew when a man was attractive or not. And god- is he. 

Draco passed her a towel, in which she draped around her shoulders, and sat back down, this time in front of her and without the shower on. The length of his t-shirt managed to fall mid thigh and the towel covered the size of her breasts so this time he needn't worry about the decency of the girl in front of him. 

Clearing his throat, Draco met the girl's gaze and instantly fell into a moment of uncertainty about this whole situation, had he stepped too far? 

"Thank you." Her voice was hoarse but sincere.

"Why on earth are you thanking me?" He did not wait for an answer, "I'm sorry, i'm really fucking sorry, for everything. I bullied you, called you a Mudblood and then i watched you be tortured on the floor of my drawing room by my Aunt and i did nothing!" He took a deep breath and continued, "Then after i faked your death, instead of taking you to the Weasley's or Nymphadora or anyone i left you with a bunch of muggles in the underground where you could have died! Look at you! You're malnourished, you're dehydrated and you're clearly not a healthy weight and i never came back for you! If you hadn't ran into Theodore you would be dead along with me and probably Theo too. I was selfish and a coward and i don't want you to thank me!" 

Hermione stared back at the boy and crinkled her nose in disgust. "I didn't call you a bloody saint did i? I said thank you because it's basic manners and even though you have been a massive dickhead and an entitled prick, five years ago you faked my death, sent me somewhere that i was for sure not going to be recognised so that i could live. I did things i didn't want to do, sure, but that doesn't mean i'm any less greatful." She huffed and stood up to move to the bedroom she was given. 

Draco sneered and stood up along with her, his height giving him an advantage at intimidating her, "I just don't want you saying thank you when i haven't down anything worth thanking for!" 

"Let me be greatful!" Hermione's voice raised. 

"No!"

"Stop being a massive cunt and let me say thank you! Thank you for faking my death, thank you for not killing me the moment you saw me at your table, eating your food, thank you for washing my hair when i was emotionally unable to!" She pushed past him and grabbed her clothes from the counter. 

"Will you stop being stubborn and just accept the fact that i don't deserve a thank you." 

Hermione turned around to face him and gave him one last glare before slamming the door behind her. _What the fuck was that?_

She had only tried to thank him after a very kind act and he turned it on her. She understood the fact that he had felt undeserving of a thank you but she was pretty sure that saving somebody for death and extreme trauma from rape was more than enough to forget the bullying she had received when they were both children. 

She decided not to stress herself out about his behaviour and peeled his shirt from her skin and proceeded to dry herself, careful not to get any blood on the white towel. 

Hermione unfolded the t-shirt and placed it over herself, enjoying the feel of cotton against her skin. She noticed a pair of black boxer briefs folded between the joggers and pondered for a moment before caving in and sliding them up over her hips. They fit like spots shorts and were quite comfortable falling mid-thigh, the t-shirt falling a few inches above it. Hermione decided it was too hot for joggers and settled for the boxers and t-shirt. 

Once she hit the bed and had the sheets wrapped around her, Hermione felt herself fall into a trance of sorts. The soft quilt and plush pillows allowed herself to sink into a indescribable feeling. 

She knew when she woke up her time in he would feel ephemeral but for now she'd enjoy every last second of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://pin.it/4dTD8dg - Link for Pinterest reference photo's 💜

**Author's Note:**

> A lot goes on in this chapter and i'm sorry if this is a major information overload lmao ! just trying to get the boring bits out of the way so we can get to the good vs evil, romancy stuff to happen 💜  
> Updates every Sunday!


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